daylight
Charlie Evans

The shrill ringing of my phone shot me up in bed. I groaned, reaching over to my nightstand feeling around blindly. I started keeping the ringtone on just in case my sister Ruby called late at night again. Ever since our mum and her father, Neil, had started fighting, I wanted her to be able to reach me at any time. Ruby might only be six, but she was smart as a whip and more than able to steal mum’s phone again. I glanced at the time before sliding it open, seeing mum’s name. It was almost 3:30 in the morning.

“Ruby?” I whispered, trying not to wake Keith next to me.

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Though it was too late for that. He moved and opened his eyes, looking at me in concern, most likely at the sound of Ruby’s voice. 

Ever since he’d arrived from England, we’d taken to sharing a bed. It made more sense than him sleeping on the couch when I had the space. Besides, I liked the comfort of having him next to me, for reasons I was not quite ready to let myself truly think about. 

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“It’s me, darling.”

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The sound of my mum’s voice made me sit up. Something had to be wrong for her to call this late. 

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“Mum. What’s wrong? What’s happened? Is Ruby okay?”

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Keith sat up, leaning over to turn on the light on my nightstand, his eyes falling back on me. 

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“Everything’s fine, she’s okay,” mum said.

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I let out a deep exhale of relief, placing my hand on Keith’s knee over the covers. “Okay. Why are you calling so late? I was asleep.” 

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“Right, well… I’m outside,” she said quickly.

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“You’re what?”

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“Outside your flat, darling. Could you come to the door?” 

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Now I was extra confused. Everything could not be okay if she was outside my door at three in the morning. Heart pounding in my chest, I got out of bed and grabbed my robe off the back of the door, shrugging it on and hurrying out of my room. I looked through the peephole of my front door seeing not only my mother, but Ruby in her arms, too. 

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I opened it and hung up, shaking my head with widened eyes. “Mum, what—” 

She hushed me, stepping inside. “She’s asleep, could you put her down in your bed?” 

“I—yeah, okay,” I whispered, unsure of what to do. 

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Keith came up behind me and accepted Ruby from mum’s arms, shifting her weight. We caught eyes for a moment, and he nodded in understanding. With a last look, he headed back into my room with Ruby, shutting door softly behind them. 

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“What is going on?” I asked desperately, mum motioning for me to follow her out into the hallway. 

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I took a proper look at her, finding her eyes red and her hair down in waves. She was dressed in baggy pants and a cardigan, a bag that belonged to Ruby on her shoulders. Everything about this was wrong. Ever since marrying Neil, mum had been put together, even at night. Perfectly matching clothes, smooth and straightened hair. 

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Not this. 

This was a look from my childhood. The chaos in her appearance matching the chaos in her head. I never understood it, not until I’d grown up and experienced my own kind of madness in my brain. 

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“Mum, you’re freaking me out.” 

She quickly shoved Ruby’s bag into my arms and took in a deep breath. When she said nothing, I started again.

“What is it? Is it Neil? Where is he?” I pleaded. 

“Neil’s fine,” she said, shaking her head. “He’s visiting his parents for the week. He’ll be back next weekend. I’ll come back before then.” 

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“I just need to… to take care of some stuff, okay? So, I need you to watch Ruby for me until I get back,” she whispered. 

“What?”

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She reached out and touched my cheek. I flinched away, shaking my head. 

“You’re not—you can’t just leave! What the hell is Ruby going to think when she wakes up?” I exclaimed, trying to keep my voice level. 

“Delilah, please,” her eyes welling up in tears. “I just need some time to figure some stuff out, okay? Please, darling. Just do this for me.”

I swallowed hard. Of course, I would watch Ruby. I would watch Ruby any time she needed me to, but at 3:30 in the morning? With no real explanation as to why? 

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How was I supposed to deal with that?

It felt familiar. Far too familiar. 

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I thought back to the time when I was a kid and mum had dumped me on Keith’s doorstep, telling his mum to look after me until she could come back. I was about Ruby’s age when it had happened for the longest time, and she’d been gone for a month. I could remember asking Keith’s mum if she was going to come back for me. Or if she was going to leave forever like my dad. 

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“Mum…” I stared. “Just… what do I tell Neil? 

Her jaw clenched and she pursed her lips. “I’ll tell him in the morning that we’re visiting you for a few days.” 

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“So, you want me to lie and say you’re here too when he phones to speak with her?” 

“I’m sorry.” 

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I wasn’t exactly above lying to my stepfather, but still. This entire situation was fucked up. 

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“What are you and Neil fighting about?” The desperation was leaking into my voice. “I don’t understand.” 

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“It’s not important,” she brushed me off. 

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“Yes, it bloody is! You’re dropping Ruby off here; you want me to lie to Neil… what the hell is going on? When did things get so bad?” 

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She blinked the tears from her eyes and began to turn away. I grabbed her forearm. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t. She was settled, she was stable with her new family. The days of running and uncertainty and impulsivity were behind her, behind us. 

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“Just do this for me, Delilah. Please,” her eyes poured into mine. “It won’t be for long.” 

“At least tell me why. Or—or where you’re going, please. So I don’t go out of my mind.

Please, mum,” I begged. 

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“I’ll be back, darling.” 

And then she was gone, moving quickly down the hall, ignoring my pleas. When she rounded the corner to the stairwell, I felt myself shake. I stepped back into my flat and shut the door, dropping Ruby’s bag on the ground. I leaned back against the wall, trying to catch my breath. A panic attack wouldn’t help right now, especially if Ruby woke up. My bedroom door opened, and Keith stepped out, shutting it softly and hurrying over. 

“Is she gone?” he asked.

I nodded, unable to form any words just yet. Keith came forward and pulled me into his arms. I let out a sigh and rested my head against his chest as I tried to settle my thoughts and keep myself present. 

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This wasn’t happening to me. It wasn’t like when I was a kid. Ruby had a dad; a dad who loved her. And mum would be back. She always came back. 

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She had to come back. 

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I peered up at Keith, his hands sliding down to my waist. I felt a tear leak stubbornly down my cheek. A hand came up and wiped away before cradling my face. 

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“Is she still asleep?” I whispered. 

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“Yeah. Didn’t wake up at all.” 

“Good.”

My mind was reeling. Going back to bed was the only logical answer at this time, but I was sure I wouldn’t be able to sleep. And I was supposed to work in the morning, or rather, in a few hours. But I couldn’t now. I couldn’t leave Ruby here on her own. God, what if this jeopardized my job? What if I lost my job because of this? 

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“Delilah,” Keith said, his voice low. “You’ve got to breathe, alright?”

I nodded, my hands gripping Keith’s waist. Something tangible to focus on, the feeling of him beneath my fingers. The feel of his hand on my cheek; the other on my hip holding me against him. 

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Focus and breathe. 

“There you are, love,” he whispered. “We’ll sort this out, okay? We’ll sort out whatever the hell is going on.” 

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I nodded, biting my lip as I looked back into his tired eyes. “What about work tomorrow?” 

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“Carol will understand. You know she will.”

He was right. My boss was probably the most understanding person in the world. If I explained to her that I had to watch my little sister, she’d understand. It might cost me a week, hopefully only a week, of wages at the diner, but it had to be done. It wasn’t as if I could just leave Ruby on her own or bring her to work while I served tables all day. 

“And I’ll help out with Ruby,” Keith continued. “So will Willow and the rest of them, you know that. You’re not alone in this. That girl’s got an army looking out for her. Just like you do.” 

I let out a deep breath and nodded, trying to take in his words. He stared down into my eyes before kissing my forehead, his lips lingering for a long moment.

“We should get some sleep. Your alarm will be going off in a bit and you can text Carol then, yeah?” Keith said. 

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“I don’t know if I can sleep,” I sighed.

“I know. But you’ve got to try, okay? So go in there with Ruby. I’ll take the couch.”

I knew that was the logical answer. I had to be with Ruby for when she woke up and was inevitably confused. But I wasn’t even sure if I could sleep without Keith anymore.

“Stay with me,” I whispered. “Ruby can sleep in between us.”

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He studied me for a moment before nodding and kissing my forehead again. “Are you sure?”

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“I…” I started, my cheeks flushing before I could even get the words out. I was still getting used to vulnerability, even with someone as familiar as Keith. “I can’t sleep without you anymore.”

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He offered a small smile, his hand coming up from my cheek and smoothing back my hair as he chuckled.

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“No, nor me,” he said. “Come on.”

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We crept slowly into my room; Ruby asleep in the centre of the bed where Keith had put her down. I shrugged off my robe and hung it back on the door, climbing into my side of the bed. Keith got in next to Ruby as she moved around, sighing in her sleep. We both still, ensuring that she didn’t wake. I was glad she had slept through mum bringing her here. She’d always been a sound sleeper, according to mum. Now it was working out in everyone’s benefit.

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“Try and get some sleep, love,” Keith whispered.

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I reached out, my arm softly laying on Ruby with my fingers outstretched. Keith placed his hand in mine and ran his thumb tenderly over the skin of my wrist. I stared at him across the bed, Ruby’s head not quite reaching our line of sight. I could hardly even let myself think about the way I felt towards Keith, yet suddenly my mind was filled with words I wanted to say to him. To ask if he felt the same. But how could I say it all out loud?

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And besides, whispering it across the bed with my little sister in between us probably wasn’t exactly the right moment.

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“Keith,” I said softly.

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He blinked at me in the darkness, waiting for me to continue. I swallowed and squeezed his hand.

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“Do you think she’ll come back?”